It took me long, blogging and me, because i just go on with numerous commas, and hardly a full stop. So first time in a public forum. And being precise is a tough task. So i would introduce myself as a person, open minded, i mean If i say something i mean it. And if i dont say i mean more than it. Just blogging few feelings just to vent out. I am a married 33 year women, with a juvenal heart that is still away from belief pattern that society forces each obe of us to have. After 8years of relation now i am in a voyage, searching for that self who is my essence. I had a hard time making people understand my views, opinion, choices, ehich hardly matters in a hindu, lower middle class family. When your dreams are high you must have sone brain that could manipulate the world. But if you don't, Everyone will. So in my initial years of marriage i was in some dream world, thinking everything is happening as per the wishes of that supreme. But no darling.. You are letting it happen with you. Somee fault are your own and some your parents have given you, inherited. But the educated mind breaks all boundaries that tries caging it.. I did the same. Please be clear, my in laws does only support me lose my mental peace. Somehow i managed to make a career after marriage, today i have a baby after 7 years if marriage, listenung to all the craps, "kundali dosha and blah blah" but no one checked on there own side, you must have got me. 7 year of marriage lasted just because my threshold is high. I tolerated each time of drama my mother in law did during this year. It was initially like i have given birth to your husband, thus i own him. Such loving mother should keep there son clinging whole life, and such loving son should not get married to spoil others life then. It all started when i started working, with a salary of just 20k. And they all jumped up for a share. They believe, the family who brought you up, the family that sacrificed their dream for you should turn secondary to you. No its not easy when your parents are aged. And they expect you will keep quiet even if they insult your parents, because they have sold me to a family, to serve them on the name of Sanskar. And for which they have received a dowry and warm welcome in a Shaadi. They never understand how tough it is for a youngest daughter of a family, who always dreamt to help her family like a son, to became a daughter in law with no voice. They thought now we have someone who can be blamed for all the mishappening of the family, for all the fun, gossip they targeted me. They tried manipulating me, each time they keep on breaking the trust. And it came to a point where that third eye opened.
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